Not being married to the father/mother of your children stinks. Not because you love that individual so much (maybe you wouldn’t find a fire extinguisher if your former spouse/partner were engulfed in flames) but because not being married or still living with that individual means that you will see your children less. No matter how wonderful and mature you and your spouse/partner are after separating (hopefully) the ugly truth is that you will have less time with your children when you are no longer living under one roof. It means that the funny story your son tells following a run-in on the playground with the school’s resident bully will be relayed and enjoyed at one dinner table that evening but not enjoyed by both parents. It means when your daughter has a rough day at school she will be hugged by either Mom or Dad that evening but not both. With roughly half of all marriages failing think long and hard about how truly unhappy you truly are in your relationship. Are you unhappy because of your spouse or are you relying too much on your spouse to create your happiness? Have you given your marriage everything you’ve got. Marriage is hard, and some days, months, and even years, just stink. But before you pull the trigger on how wonderful life will be once you are independent and living free of this person you are blaming for your daily misery ask yourself if you have really worked at your marriage every day. Have you honored your spouse and respected him/her above all else even on the days when she is PMS-ing and being a total pain to live with, or on the months where your Husband blew money on that ATV that you really didn’t need. Maybe its worse and your spouse has cheated on you – devastating yes, insurmountable to overcome – no. Of course there are exceptions – safety, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, etc. but even then, in the “…or worse…” did you try your hardest?
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